Season 4, Episode 9: Stephani - When Two Adoptees Marry

Today we talk about what happens when two adopted people get married to each other. Stephani is candid with us about some of what triggers her and her husband, and how that can escalate quickly. She also shares about how being in Internal Family Systems therapy together has been a game-changer for their relationship.

Show Notes


Topics We Discussed

  • Stephani shares her story of a private, domestic, ‘meant to be open’ adoption, and finding out she was adopted when she was 9 or 10. And no, her adoptive parents weren’t the ones to tell her.
  • How Stephani found out who her father was, and the complexity of finding out she was biracial. She shares about meeting him, and finding out a bit of her ancestors’ history.
  • Meeting her husband, their whirlwind romance to marriage (7 weeks!), and the different experiences they’ve both had in their adoption/search/reunion stories.
  • That Stephani regrets pressuring her husband to search for his biological family before he was ready
  • How IFS has impacted their relationship
  • Stephani walks us through some specific things her and her husband do to work through challenging situations or disagreements.
  • Learn more about IFS (Internal Family Systems) Therapy on this Adoptees On Healing Series episode


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