47 Laura - The Adoption Museum Project
/Transcript
Full shownotes: https://www.adopteeson.com/listen/47
Haley Radke: You are listening to Adoptees On, the podcast where adoptees discuss the adoption experience. This is season 3, episode 8: Laura. I'm your host, Haley Radke. Today, I introduce you to Laura Callen, the founder of the Adoption Museum Project.
Laura gives the most vivid recounting of a triggering situation that only another adopted person could understand. And we talk about that just really simple topic of dignity and justice in adoption.
With our season 3 theme of healing through creativity, Laura explains some of the different experimental ways she and her team are exploring the topic of adoption through arts and culture. We wrap up with recommended resources. And as always, links to all of the things we'll be talking about today are on adopteeson.com. Let's listen in.
I'm so pleased to welcome to Adoptees On, Laura Callen. Welcome, Laura.
Laura Callen: Thank you. It's really great to be here.
Haley Radke: Well, I would love if you would start off as all of my guests do, with sharing your story with us.
Laura Callen: My adoption was a pre-arranged adoption. So this was in 1969 and my first mother had arranged through Catholic Social Services to relinquish me for adoption. And this was in Michigan. And what I learned—and this was later on in the story as I was doing my search—but learned that I spent the first two weeks in foster care. And my understanding is that this was an individual woman who would foster babies in her home. And I spent, yeah, the first two weeks there and I have a letter that she wrote about me at that time. And that's the evidence that I have about those two weeks.
And it's still a mystery to me, why I was in foster care for those two weeks, because the adoption was pre-arranged. But I did go home to my adoptive parents. And I grew up with two brothers, so my older brother by two years and then a younger brother by five years. We were all adopted from different families and the kind of— Just to briefly share the narrative, I was told that I was adopted when I was five, and I have a really vivid memory of that moment. And I don't have a whole lot of memories from childhood, but this is one that I have always retained that my older brother and I were told that we were adopted (and this was a conversation with my mother).
And the reason that I know I was five, is because my younger brother was going to be coming home and so there needed to be an explanation for that. And it was a brief conversation and that was really the end of the conversation about adoption in my home, in my growing up. So it was not something that was discussed and I learned not to bring it up.
And not because it was said by my parents not to discuss it (and I think many adoptees have this experience), but in all the ways that we learn how not to ask questions and what things are out of bounds, I learned not to ask about this. So, I grew up not talking to my brothers about adoption, not ever meeting another adopted person (at least that I was aware of). And into my twenties, I didn't really consciously think about adoption in terms of what that meant for me, consciously wondering about that, talking to other people. And in my twenties, I did decide that perhaps adoption had something to do with who I am, and how I navigate the world, and how I have relationships, and make choices.
And so I decided to search. And I was really fortunate; I know that searching can often be a really long and painful process. And I was really fortunate to pretty quickly find both my first mother and first father. I think it took a little less than a year with the help of a Search Angel. I was able– I reached out to them, got in touch, and I learned that both of them (but at different points in time, unbeknownst to each other), had filed consent forms with the adoption agency.
And those consent forms, while they didn't give full identifying information, did indicate that if I was interested in finding them, they would be open to contact with me. So that psychological burden of not knowing whether they wanted to know me was removed. And that was really important, of course, for me. So I proceeded to reach out.
We had those first very thrilling, but awkward, and terrifying conversations on the phone. And I have remained in touch with my first father. We don't communicate very often, but we are in touch with each other. And in fact, I saw him last year in person and it was really lovely, actually.
And when I met my first mother, this is now… gosh, 16 years ago? (something like that) We continued to develop a really strong relationship. And we've worked at maintaining our relationship, and then navigating that. So I am certainly in touch with her. She actually moved from where she was living to where I am living about five years ago. So she lives about a mile down the road and is very involved in my life and my family's life. And, you know, what I can say beyond that is, I continue to actively experience being an adopted person.
And it's a cliché, perhaps, at this point, that we've all heard, that adoption is this lifelong experience. And it's also just really true (at least for me), and that there have been these points in my life where adoption has surfaced in a really big way that has meant that I've had to re-engage with it. And address whatever piece of it is up in that moment.
Haley Radke: Can you give an example of that?
Laura Callen: [laughs] I gave a very recent example of that yesterday. I have two children. They are my biological children. My son is 10 and my daughter is 8. And we've been talking about pets for a little while now. And my husband and I managed to put it off, and finally knew that it was time to say yes to a pet. And we decided that we were going to say yes to a couple of sweet pet mice, because that was better than a flying squirrel or a chinchilla.
So, I think somewhere in the back of my mind, I knew that having pets come into my home was going to trigger me in some way, but I didn't really give it a lot of thought. And my husband and my daughter came home with these two mice and I just slipped into this place, that I was really aware that this was touching that wound, right? And I just felt incredibly sad.
And I'm sure that my kids [were] somewhat puzzled by my reaction and what was going on. And I was trying to make it seem like it was not a big deal. But to be really specific, when we were trying to figure out who was going to actually go and pick up the mice and my kids had some other things that they were interested in doing that day, and they said, “Well, how about if you just go and get the mice, daddy? And we'll stay here?” And I was outraged by that. And I thought, You can't just say, “Bring me some mice.” And then they just appear in our house, like you've ordered them.
And it was just this— a reaction that was much bigger than it should have been. And of course, they're asking this very simple question and I'm seeing it through this lens of adoption. And then a couple hours later, my son is playing with the mice. And they have that plastic ball that you can put the mice inside of and then they can roll around inside of it. Truly one of the highlights of having pet mice!
And so my son is trying to put the mouse into the ball, and this tiny, furry, quivering creature keeps trying to climb back out. And my son keeps trying to put the mouse in, but he keeps trying to climb back out. And my heart is just breaking, and I'm saying to my son, “He doesn't want to go in the ball. You can't force him to go in the ball. Stop putting him in the ball.” Behind these words, right? Are just these intense feelings of me and what I imagine I might have been feeling or what other adopted people might be feeling when we don't have those words, and we're so vulnerable. So, that was just yesterday.
Haley Radke: I think that's the best description of a trigger I've ever heard. I mean, the most thorough. When you started, I was like, I don't understand. But I feel it. I feel it in my stomach right now. I started to just get feeling sicker and sicker as you kept describing it. And I totally understand. Isn't it amazing? Those little things that no one else in the world would know why you're feeling that way. But when you describe it like that, I'm like, Oh…
Did you share with your husband or your kids, why you were having that reaction?
Laura Callen: I haven't yet talked to my husband or my kids directly about my reaction, but I plan to. I've been practicing over the years to give myself pause and just give myself some time to think it through and reflect on, Gosh, what was going on? That's so interesting. And to also let myself feel whatever those feelings are before I want to engage with my family, or with a friend, or whoever it is, to talk about it.
This just happening yesterday, I figure, Yeah, sometime in the next few days I'll circle back and I'll have a conversation that I've had many times with my husband (and even with my kids) about this kind of process. So it is something that I try to do in my family. It's actually one of the ways that my first mother and I navigate our relationship, is by having this kind of very honest conversation about whatever has come up. And it's not always really heavy. Sometimes it's something we can laugh about, butI find that sometimes it feels a little bit like I've divorced myself.
But pushing myself to go back and to talk this through, particularly with the people who are very close to me has really been very helpful, but I do need to take some time, first, for myself.
Haley Radke: Okay, that sounds like a very healthy strategy. Can you tell us, how did you get to this place, where you can do that? Where you can pause, and look at the situation, and think, Okay, what is this bringing out for me? And having those steps and giving yourself permission to feel the feelings. That sounds like a really healthy place to be in.
Laura Callen: I have the ability to do that, to be really skillful with it. It has been very hard earned. Even though I can do it sometimes, I still don't do it all the time. And I screw up in so many ways, and regret so many moments. You know, what I can say is that it has only been in the last two years that I feel like I have been able to develop a couple of new skills that support me.
I would say that is largely a result of a couple of things: therapy since my twenties. When I did first decide to consciously think about and work on my adoption experience, and working on the Adoption Museum Project, and being diagnosed with dysthymia (which is a chronic depression), and choosing to take medication for that. And that was a profound step for me (not just the diagnosis), because I, in the end, had to diagnose myself, which is a whole, really difficult process to have gone through after years of therapy.
When you were reaching out to people who are professionals, and trained, and you're trusting that they see you and will offer you the right kind of help. But, once I realized what was going on for me (and had been going on for me for years and years, most of my life), and decided to take that step of taking medication, it was like the third leg of the stool. And it's really transformed my life.
Haley Radke: I'm so glad for you, that you've figured out that's something that will help you. And “the third leg of the stool,” that's a good picture for it. Yeah. So just the last two years then is when you feel like all of these things have come into place? Sorry, I should say all of the skills– you were talking about developing these skills to navigate different triggers, and all the special things that we adopted people have.
Laura Callen: Yeah, I think the therapy gave me a lot of practice with being able to develop a vocabulary around my ideas, and my feelings, and just being able to take a moment or an experience, and kind of run it through a mental filter. And to be able to go back and analyze what was going on in that moment.
And certainly just logging hours and hours, being listened to and heard by, seen (mostly) by somebody who, for the most part, could really understand what I was talking about. So I think those are some of the ways that therapy was really helpful to me. And the Museum Project has been— and most of this, really, I can only say in retrospect, how it has been, right? Because when I started, I had no idea what it was going to become, and what it would mean for me personally, but the work has really helped me get more clear on what I believe and think about adoption.
It has been a way that out of necessity, I've developed my own voice, and had to articulate what are my opinions, and what is my point of view, and how am I going to interact with other people with respect to this topic.
Haley Radke: So you're talking about the Adoption Museum Project. Can you just tell us your relationship to that and what it is?
Laura Callen: I founded the Adoption Museum Project about six years ago. And this experiment (it is a giant experiment, because we're making it up. Nothing like this exists). The idea is that we can create space. And we talk about that in sort of two ways: of course, literal, physical space, as well as notional space, right? The space where our ideas and our feelings live.
But the idea of the project is that we need spaces where everybody, the public, whether you have adoption connection or not, that we need spaces where we can fully explore the whole story. And the whole story of adoption is something that we have to have if we're going to have justice in adoption.
This was really created as a social justice organization in the form of a museum, an institution that is developing arts and culture projects and programs. So that's the form that we're choosing to use to contribute to the ultimate goal of justice in adoption.
Haley Radke: Can you unpack that a little bit? What do you mean by justice in adoption?
Laura Callen: That small matter of justice in adoption? That's such a huge, complicated idea, isn't it? And all I can offer is my point of view and what the Adoption Museum Project sees around that. And I have incredible respect for many, many others who do work that is related to justice within adoption.
And there is, of course, a long history of people who've been involved in that work. And for my co-conspirators out there, when we talk about justice in adoption, we're referring to the idea that everybody involved in adoption should experience dignity and justice. So, one of the first kind of a premise in there that I want to point to, is that we believe that there is a place for some kind of social practice like adoption.
And there are people within the adoption community who are working to completely dismantle adoption, or to abolish adoption. And I think that's a completely valid objective for people to be fighting for, and a very valid point of view. It's not the one that we have. I think that there will always be some situation where a child does, in fact, need a family who is not their own biological family.
And I would want for there to be some solution for that child. So, part of our belief is that something like adoption needs to exist for those very rare situations, but it needs to be done in almost a completely different kind of way. And we-– you know, I think about this as a sort of a two step process, that we need to first reckon with how we have practiced adoption and how we currently practice adoption. And then we need to redesign.
And I think you cannot figure out what is that better way until you have first looked back at how we've been doing this, at the history of this practice, and we also sit with what's happening right now. So this idea of reckoning and redesigning is part of what we believe needs to happen, and then again going back to the way we see justice and adoption. And I talk about, “It's justice for everybody.” And by that, we mean: adopted people who are the most impacted, justice also for first and birth parents who we know are still quite silenced when we talk about adoption, and also justice when it comes to the parents who are raising adopted people.
I know that when I talk with folks (particularly folks who are activists in adoption), the idea that adoptive parents would experience some kind of injustice, it's really hard for some people to imagine that, or to agree with that, or see that. And so it's a really sensitive one, and so I want to explain what I mean by that. And then I want to go back and make sure that there is proper emphasis on adopted people and first birth parents.
But there are situations where adoptive parents are doing everything possible to move through this process in a thoughtful and ethical way. And other players in the system are doing things that are illegal, or unethical, or preventing the adoptive parents or prospective adoptive parents from doing what they know, and believe, and want to be doing as the right thing.
And then I also just believe that whatever happened through that process to adopt, once that child is placed in a family, we have every obligation to support that family. And I think there are still many ways in which adoptive families (and so now this includes, right, the adopted person, but especially when the child is young, it's the adoptive parents who are really on the front line of navigating services, and supports, and that sort of thing), but ways that they are not receiving the support that they need and ways that they are being stigmatized. I think that there are ways in which adoptive parents are harmed.
Now, I don't say that all of these three groups are having the same equal experience. I think adopted people and first birth parents are disproportionately harmed. And again, adopted people most directly. I don't think that we need to say everybody is on some kind of equal footing when it comes to who's having the least just experience.
I think, just objectively speaking, we know that adopted people and first birth parents are harmed in ways that adopted parents never will be. And there are absolutely obligations and responsibilities that adoptive parents have because of their power, privilege, and often because of their wealth, and in other ways.
But our view of getting to this redesigned practice is that it can never happen unless adoptive parents and prospective adoptive parents are part of it. I mean, you can't have systemic change in this system if you do not include that group. I won't go into the long lists here. I think probably your listeners are very familiar with it.
You could construct and then we have a long list of all the ways that adopted people are harmed—from lack of access to their birth records, to lack of citizenship, to disproportionately struggling with mental health, to not having their full identity, to all of the harms that adopted people experience.
And then we could go over and we could say here are all the ways that first parents are harmed, from coercion, to contact agreements that are not honored, to their struggles with mental health, and so on. And then again, moving over to adoptive parents. And I think—and this is really difficult to do, but if we can step back and look at this as a system that is made up of all these different actors, and what is going to have to change in order to change the system? What do each one of these actors need to do differently?
It's one of the reasons that the work that we're doing with the Adoption Museum Project is engaging, involving, speaking to, working with everybody who's involved in adoption. And that goes beyond, of course, adopted people, first parents, and adoptive parents, right? It includes (ultimately, as we move forward and have the resources), it includes agency professionals, and it includes policy makers, and the really long list of people who are involved in the practice of adoption.
Haley Radke: So as you're looking at this big—it's a big goal to reform the system, but looking at the Adoption Museum Project and the focus on expressing these things through arts and culture. And we've, you know, have this series on creativity and healing through creativity.
Can you talk a little bit about that? What are some of the ways that you are educating people about the history of adoption and about how adopted people are affected by the citizenship issue that's happening in the U.S. right now and et cetera. Can you talk a little bit about that in the creative space, the work you're doing there?
Laura Callen: And I do want to say as well that we have a very clear vision of what we believe should happen in adoption. And we also know that reforming the system, redesigning the system does not happen single handedly by anyone.
We're really clear that we have our piece and our contribution that we want to make, and even that work is highly collaborative. We don't do anything, really, entirely on our own. So we're just one of many individuals, organizations, coalitions that would have to work together to get to systemic change.
And our contribution is within this museum form, environments. And you know, “Why arts and culture?” Because these are different ways in to the adoption idea, to the adoption experience, that these are ways, when we're being our creative selves, that we can open up to ideas in a different kind of way. We can actually imagine what a redesigned practice of adoption might look like.
We also define creative space in arts and culture really broadly. For us, it's any form of human expression. And really, I think there are many museums today that could use that same definition. And we tend to use language that says, “This is an arts museum,” or “This is a science museum,” or we use that term, “culture.” And I think that tends to narrow the different types of activities and experiences that could happen inside of a museum space and again, in many cases, what is already happening inside of lots of museums.
So, it's exciting that any form of expression could be used to enter these questions about adoption, and sit with them, and explore them. So, whether that's visual art, or it's an oral history, or it's a panel discussion, or it's a dance performance, it's a dialogue…all of that counts. And all of these are different ways in, and so we've been experimenting, you know, in our six years of doing 20 plus projects. And we've tried to intentionally develop projects that use different formats so that we can learn, Oh what happens if we do a—have people visit an exhibition and then have a follow up workshop? Okay, now let's see what happens if we just do the public program part. Okay, now let's see what happens if we do something just online.
So we're always looking to experiment with these different formats. And each one offers different opportunities for people. And because adoption is such a— has extreme diversity on every level and affects such an extraordinary diversity of people, it just follows that you would have to be, over time, offering a really diverse range of types of activities and experiences that would feel inviting and interesting to people.
Our upcoming project is happening in Minneapolis. There's going to be an event on December 12th in Minneapolis called Conjuring Other Ways Home. And this is a culminating event. The series of three workshops that were done in November and the topic is Black Adoption. And we're doing this project in collaboration with an amazing organization, Black Table Arts, which is run by a genius artist adoptee named Keno Evol. He's the founder and director of Black Table Arts. The workshops, we’re inviting anyone who identifies as Black and has an experience of adoption to attend a workshop and write poetry (specifically) with guidance and support from the community and from teaching artists.
And then the event that's happening on the 12th at the Illusion Theater in Minneapolis is going to be a community gathering. It's open to the public, including the family, kin, friends, allies of people who were in the workshops, and people who have an experience of Black adoption. And there'll be readings, and a panel discussion, and a chance for dialogue. So that's happening December 12th.
And we are in the midst of developing our next ambitious project, which is called History Lab. And History Lab is going to launch in the spring of 2018, and this is the beginning of a really exciting, enormous project to create an online public history of adoption, told through a lens of social justice. And we are going to start with something—
Haley Radke: I have goosebumps!
Laura Callen: Yeah, we're just so thrilled to be collaborating with so many brilliant people on this project, and how it started, and conversations with Ellen Herman (who created the Adoption History Project). But we're beginning with just one small piece that we're calling History Lab. And we felt that part of what we wanted to contribute with this particular history of adoption, because of course there are so many histories out there and each one is incredibly valuable. And we're doing something unique with ours. But we really wanted to begin by inviting the public to participate and to start talking with us about what could be in this history and to begin contributing even their artifacts.
Although to begin, we can't accept physical artifacts, but we'll be inviting people to submit descriptions and images. And so the idea is to begin by hearing from the public, and in particular, people who've experienced adoption. And when you become a member of the History Lab (it's free), you can start to work with us to really shape what this history is going to be about.
Haley Radke: You're talking about this and you're just glowing and you're so excited. Oh my goodness.
I'm so excited to see what this develops into, Laura. I mean, it's incredible. That's something that I feel like is so lacking in all of the activism space is just— I mean, we really only know about what's happening right now. And then a lot of us have heard about the 60s Scoop, but I don't know even personally, who started adoption and what did it used to look like, and who started foster care, and all of those things. So, I love that. I love that.
Laura Callen: Yeah, we have a real focus at the Adoption Museum Project on context, right? And so we talk a lot about the importance of the personal story, which you are right in that zone, right? One of the folks who is helping to surface individual stories of adoption, and we have to have that, and we need more.
And so there's this need for personal stories to continue to come to the surface. And at the same time, we feel that putting those stories in context is really also essential, and that the two really need to go hand in hand. But as we look out there in the big wide world of adoption, there's very little context. And for us, context is— Certainly there's historical context, and that's what the History Lab is focused on, but there's also the system. So, What is the system of adoption? Hm! Who's involved in that? How does that work? That kind of understanding is really missing, as well as the context of all these other social forces that are connected to adoption.
So adoption does not exist on its own in some sort of separate universe. It's inextricably connected to many, many other social issues and ideas, whether that's reproductive justice, or it's immigration, or it's race... The list is long. And so we think about, How can you architect an understanding of adoption that really just honors and values these personal stories, but in context? And we can't start working on all of those pieces at the same time, so we decided we're going to start with history.
But ultimately, and through our work going forward, we hold that view, that it has to be that we understand the history, the system, and the social forces. This is, of course, very long term work, and it's work that we will do with others, but we have to see that whole story before we'll fully understand what we are grappling with and what we need to fix.
We are going to be kicking off our end of the year fundraising campaign. It's called “The Whole Story Campaign,” and we're inviting everyone who believes in this work that we're doing to contribute at whatever level feels meaningful for them. So we will be sharing information and links through emails and through our newsletter and Facebook. Watch for that, and support us if you can.
Haley Radke: Well, for recommended resources, I mean we've already talked about this on the show before, but your newsletter, “The Adoption Museum Project Newsletter,” is incredible. I love how you find ways to highlight so many different things. So, events that are happening, or articles that have come out, or books, or just different people in the adoption community.
It's so well constructed. I just— I love it. I look forward to it. There's not many emails I look forward to receiving. Unsubscribe all the time, right? But yours is not one of them. I love getting it. So, of course we'll have links to all of these things, but it's super easy to subscribe to your newsletter, you just go to adoptionmuseumproject.org. And there's places all over that you can click on, just type your email in and get that.
So I'd recommend that people do that for sure. And check out the campaign, “The Whole Story” campaign. What a great name. Love that. Okay, what would you like to recommend to us?
Laura Callen: I now have to choose from my long list. I guess I'll have to put the things I can't say on air into my next newsletter. But I would recommend any poem. So I know that perhaps that's not playing by the rules, but I just find poetry, really any poem, to be incredibly valuable as a way of opening ourselves up to new ideas and possibilities.
It's almost like this way of letting yourself get disoriented and confused, but also a way that you can feel really seen and heard through poetry that I feel like no other form lets you do. But I will say that the most recent poet I have come across that I'm just, really have been captivated by, she's an adoptee, Marci Calabretta Cancio-Bello. And I just picked up her book, Hour of the Ox, and it's just gorgeous.
I finished, not too long ago, a book, The Next American Revolution, which is by Grace Lee Boggs. Just beloved social activist, and she's from my hometown of Detroit, Michigan. And I just find it incredibly inspiring reading for folks who are thinking about How can we change unjust systems?
I'll also suggest Rise magazine, and I came across this one not too long ago as well and I was just blown away. This is a magazine that is created by and for families whose children are in the child welfare system. And it's just an incredible window into an experience that I think we all… You know, we don't really think about very deeply. And to hear the experience written by the people who are having it is really, really an important perspective to hold.
Can I give one more?
Haley Radke: Yeah. I just want you to send me the whole list now because I just, these are so good.
Laura Callen: I do want to just try to support, one more time, the Adoptee Rights Campaign. We just did a project a couple of weeks ago supporting the work to change the law so that all adoptees receive citizenship. And there's still work to be done. This is not a foregone conclusion that somebody's going to just figure this out and come to the right conclusion and grant adoptee citizenship.
Haley Radke: Can you describe what you did, that project?
Laura Callen: The project was called Arts in Advocacy: Citizenship for All Adoptees. It was a very collaborative project. We were one of three organizations that were developing it. Magna Citizen Studios is the other organization, which is run by HyunJu Chappell, and she is an adoptee, and the Adoptee Rights Campaign. And it was a full day program of different activities at Yerba Buena Center for the Arts in San Francisco. So we had a screen printing workshop, where you could choose one of three screen print designs (designed by HyunJu), and they were about adoptee citizenship. There was a really incredible lineup of speakers, and poets, and educating people about the current issue with adoptee citizenship, and giving historical background, and sharing personal stories.
There was an exhibition, as well, created by HyunJu. So this was a day where it was open to the public. Anyone could drop in and they could learn about and engage with this in whatever way felt right to them. And it was just extraordinary to bring adoption and to bring this particular issue into a public space that would otherwise never have considered adoption or addressed this issue.
Haley Radke: Well, you sent me a little video clip that I just watched and it was so interesting. And one of the little snippet pieces was someone sticking this thing onto the wall, like a deckle. And it was just I think the words were “First deportation, because of this.”
I love that you invited the public. Most people don't know that there is this group of adoptees who were adopted internationally, came into the United States, and don't have citizenship. How do you not know that? It's mind boggling to me. Now, I'm up in Canada, so I am removed from this a bit, but yet I'm just, I'm heartbroken for my brothers and sisters down there who don't even have citizenship.
Laura Callen: Yeah, It's stunning, the lack of awareness of this issue. And I count myself among those people who didn't have any idea that this was the case, up until six months ago, eight months ago or so. And that is absolutely more than half the battle, simply making people aware that 5,000+ U.S. adoptees adopted from other countries do not have citizenship today.
And the moment you tell somebody that, they're shocked: “Can't believe it, that's just wrong. That needs to be changed.” So it's not that it would be hard to persuade someone that this is an injustice and it should be fixed. But, like so many issues, it takes a lot of work to move people from, “That's wrong,” to actually taking action and getting involved in doing something about it.
So we were just really honored to be invited to participate in this program and contribute our piece to developing awareness, because certainly people came who were connected to adoption, but part of why we love to do programs in other venues, and museum spaces, and other cultural spaces that are open to the public. Because that's what happens: people walk by, they step in. And they would have never otherwise thought about adoption, but now they're learning about it.
I would just really encourage all of your listeners to learn a little bit about this issue and do what they can to support changing the law. You can go to adopteerightscampaign.org and find everything there that you need.
But, and this is just one of many, many, many issues that needs to be looked at, thought about, and figured out. I’m not suggesting that adoptee citizenship is the most important issue over others in adoption. This is not a competition.
I think we need to, again, begin by understanding the whole story. And then, I think, what calls you, what draws you, what are you most interested and passionate about working on, go do that. Because there is no lack of need and there's a lot of need and support that's required.
Haley Radke: What a perfect way to wrap up: a call to action with your own passions in mind. I love that. Thank you so much, Laura. What a great conversation.
Can you let us know how we can connect with you online?
Laura Callen: Absolutely. So you can go to adoptionmuseumproject.org, that's our website, learn about the work that we're doing, contribute to our campaign.
You could email me directly, I would love to hear from anyone, laura@adoptionmuseumproject.org. And we do have a Facebook page, so I invite you to go there and follow us.
Haley Radke: Thank you so much for your time. I've so appreciated talking with you today, and hearing a part of your story, and a part of your healing as well.
And thank you for the good work that you're doing with the Adoption Museum Project.
Laura Callen: Thank you so much, Haley. This has been an honor. And for the part that you're doing, right? We're all gonna make this happen together.
Haley Radke: Yes, amen to that. I don't know about you, but my to-be-read pile is getting taller and I'm having a hard time keeping up with all of these amazing recommendations that my guests have been sharing lately.
I know some of you have been feeling brave and feisty during the month of November, which is National Adoption Awareness Month. And I know this because my Twitter feed is full of incredible tweets from adoptees. Last week, I told you to check out the #FlipTheScript, but this week, make sure you're following the #WeDie.
Yes, We Die, as in death. There's a Lost Daughters article up with an explanation behind these chosen words. And I'm sure this won't come as a surprise. It's about adoptee suicide rates and also the ways our identities figuratively die. I'll put a link to that article in the show notes. And if you search the hashtag on Twitter, you'll see some really incredible advocacy work being done there. So that's #WeDie.
This episode is brought to you by my incredibly generous Patreon supporters. If you feel that the work I'm doing with this podcast is valuable, I would be so honored to have you as a partner with me. I'm a mere 11 supporters away from being able to hire an editor. And Patreon is a crowdfunding website that takes monthly pledges to help me sustain this podcast and all the details are on adopteeson.com/partner. There's some rewards for becoming a patron, including a secret adoptees-only Facebook group.
I have had a ridiculously painful week and I don't want to commemorate all the reasons for that here in the show. But I shared in the secret Facebook group some of what was happening and the love and support from you, my amazing friends, it's rendered me speechless. I'm in your debt. Thank you so much. Your support means so much to me. I mean, truly.
Okay, last thing. Today, would you share the show with just one friend? Maybe it's a fellow adoptee who's been struggling with being triggered lately. When you meet them next for coffee, share Laura's and my story with them. And ask for their phone and you can show them how to download the show.
Thank you for listening. Let's talk again, next Friday.
