165 [DNA] The Search Maven - Janet Weinreich-Keall
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Full shownotes: https://www.adopteeson.com/listen/165
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You're listening to Adoptees On, the podcast where adoptees discuss the adoption experience. This is episode 165, The Search Maven. I'm your host, Haley Radke. I am so glad to share this interview with you today. My guest shared her notes with me ahead of time, and I asked, are you sure you wanna share this on my show? It's a gold mine of information. She could teach an entire class on this. Janet Weinreich-Keall is back and when you hear her story, you'll know exactly why she is a pro at searching. Janet walks us through how we should prepare to search. Then we dive into what DNA testing looks like and how far the tech has come, making it easy and accessible for us to do our own searches. [00:01:00] We also talk about the ramifications of having your DNA in a database. Is your information really kept private? We wrap up with some recommended resources and as always, links to everything we'll be talking about today are on the website, adopteeson.com. Let's listen in.
I'm so pleased to welcome back to Adoptees On, Janet Weinreich-Keall. Hi Janet.
Janet Weinreich-Keall: Hi Haley. How are you?
Haley Radke: I'm doing well. I'm so thrilled that you're back and we'll talk a little bit more about your story, I'm sure, throughout. But for those listeners who maybe haven't heard your two episodes that you were on the show, would you give us a little taste of your story please?
Janet Weinreich-Keall: My name is Janet, and I was abandoned shortly after my birth on a doorstep in Prince Rupert, BC, in the fall of 1977. I began my search at the age of 18. Honestly, I would have to say it would be like any naive young [00:02:00] girl. I thought, okay, I'm doing traditional media, newspapers, radio, tv. Oh, she's gonna come forward. No problem. Clearly I had a lot to learn about my life. In the end, I uncovered that my biological mother is, and again, it's as far as I know today, the world's largest serial abandoner. I am one of five babies abandoned. Now, however, there might be an additional one, and I'm still currently searching for another possible half sibling. A great part of my search though, is that I have found my biological father. He lives down the street from me, and we're in year three of our reunion.
Haley Radke: And Emil was a guest on the show with you-
Janet Weinreich-Keall: Yes. He was.
Haley Radke: That was such a really special conversation.
Janet Weinreich-Keall: Yeah. He, I would have to say he's quite a remarkable man. And my father, although he is quite understated, he has no problem, I would have to say, really telling it how it is. He's just got an [00:03:00] amazing, honest quality, very authentic. So that's certainly helped our reunion, a great deal.
Haley Radke: Absolutely. I was honored that I got the chance to speak to him for even such a short time. So it is clear that Janet is, I've dubbed you a search maven, okay. Because she tracked down so much information, and when you talk about a search, when you're thinking of a foundling who has literally no information, Janet has done it all. And so she has been so generous to offer us what she's learned to date. And so we're gonna talk about search, and especially through using DNA testing. And I'm really excited to learn from you because I've admitted this before to you and to others. I've never done DNA testing. I've never spit in a tube.
Janet Weinreich-Keall: Yeah. Yeah. And [00:04:00] the reality is even though I had searched for 21 years, and most of that was through traditional searching, which I have to say, in the end, piecing everything together, put probably a good 70% of my story together. The other 30% was by DNA, which one would argue would be also the largest piece, my biological mother, who abandoned me, yeah.
Haley Radke: You are saying that you got all of these different pieces of information. And then when you got DNA, was it confirming to you or were you putting those pieces both together? Like, okay, I have this piece of DNA and information and now, okay, I think then this leads me here.
Janet Weinreich-Keall: So through traditional searching which really was radio, TV, newspaper, I actually had already found two half siblings who were abandoned, one before me and [00:05:00] one right after me. And I'll go into how I confirmed those relationships. It was actually outside of a commercial DNA test. It was through private testing and then I would honestly say the biggest moment was being matched with a first cousin on a commercial DNA product. And then from there, that led me to find my biological mother. Yeah.
Haley Radke: Incredible. It's incredible to me how far the technology has come and accessibility. Okay, so let's start there. DNA tests. I already know there's more than just one.
Janet Weinreich-Keall: Yes. Now I have to tell you just before our call today, because there's just so many popping up, there are clearly three major players. But I went on Amazon this morning and I just typed in DNA kit. There's DNA kits for dogs. There's DNA kits for everything. And quite honestly, I just very quickly counted about 40 that you can just buy [00:06:00] and figure out oh, hey, am I? And again, I don't recommend these, I think you need to get proper physician care, but it's everything from diabetes to cancer markers to, again, finding family or celiac. It's certainly a buyer beware, but for finding a family, there are three major players, and I think most people know them: 23andMe, Ancestry, and Family Tree DNA. Now, the growth of commercial DNA products, it's been explosive. I've been tracking numbers for years. I've been so intrigued by it all. For example, 23andMe in 2015 only had 900,000 registered kits. Today they have 10 million. So just do the math on that in five years. So Ancestry in 2015 had 2.2 million. Today they have 18 million. Now, Family Tree DNA, they had 700,000 and they have currently over 1 million. [00:07:00] So those are the three top: Family Tree DNA, Ancestry, 23andMe. Now, one of the biggest things that I always want people to really understand is that these are all private companies. So what are they in the business of? Profiting, right? So Ancestry to date has actually earned over 1 billion in revenue. Now, again you're gonna hear me say a lot of great things and then a lot of other things that might not sound so great, because yes, they do find family, but the biggest piece is you have to consider their messaging and how they market. Really interesting.
I read an article a few years ago written by Nicole Karlis, it’s on salon.com, and she was really diving into the correlation of loneliness and the uptick of these DNA kit purchases. All of a sudden she noticed that, wow, within these few years, there's all these people buying DNA kits. The interesting piece is really what this one psychologist states is she says that the rise in [00:08:00] popularity of genetic testing sites is a reflection of our collective sense of loneliness. As a society, our dependence on technology has deeply affected the quality of our relationships. Now, that's really ironic because really it's a way to combat loneliness, but then people are turning to technology that's the most major source of distress in the first place. But again, if you think of how we use technology in our lives: How people date, right? How people find family, how people order groceries. It's all technology. So clearly there are so many reasons why people are going to these three top major DNA sites and purchasing.
Haley Radke: And at the time we're recording this, we're almost a year into having this worldwide pandemic-
Janet Weinreich-Keall: I know, I know-
Haley Radke: Which has increased our loneliness. So, yikes. Those numbers might skyrocket-
Janet Weinreich-Keall: And zoom. Have you ever [00:09:00] heard of that word so much in your life? Oh my goodness.
Haley Radke: Yikes. Yikes. Yikes.
Janet Weinreich-Keall: But I always say to any person who's thinking about doing DNA kits, there's a lot of points that I like to cover with them. But one of the biggest pieces that I always like to say to them is, look at their marketing. And again, it's no different than assessing how other companies market their product, but what is it all about? When you look at their commercials, when you look at their channels, everything is happy, happy, joy, joy. And everybody looks so healthy and glowing and everybody's hugging. They are not sharing the real stories. Interesting to note, and I'm not gonna say which one, but I had gotten quite deep into one of these top 3 DNA companies on their marketing side. They wanted to share my story and have me be an ambassador and whatever. In the end, they went, oh, wait a minute, huh? We can't say that. Oh, wait a minute. [00:10:00] We can't say serial abandonment. Oh, wait a minute. We can't say that your mother wasn't well and this and that, and blah, blah, blah. Yeah. I just don't think we can do your story. And of course I'm thinking, but wait a minute it's not that I'm even showing up going, woe is me. I've done my work. I think I'm a very healthy, stable individual. But yes, I will certainly tell the good story that yes, if you want to find your family, you might find everything and anything. So certainly buyer beware, they have not shared that message, I feel, to date with any person's story in an accurate way. Simply said, it's a Pandora's box. So the minute you spit in that tube, you are responsible for uncovering family secrets, for hidden infidelities. You name it, you just don't know what you're going to find.
Haley Radke: And we're talking as adopted people. There's all these new [00:11:00] terms coming up because of those secrets being revealed. You get your kit for Christmas and you spit and then you find out you're a late discovery adoptee. Or not parented expected. So there's lots of people finding out the dad they grew up with their whole life is not their biological dad-
Janet Weinreich-Keall: Or again, even donor conceived. So many of those are lies.
Haley Radke: Yeah.
Janet Weinreich-Keall: And all of a sudden, say Joe goes on there and he’s like what? I've got 30 half siblings. Hey, mom?
Haley Radke: Yeah. Talk about a Pandora's box. You're so right.
Janet Weinreich-Keall: It really is.
Haley Radke: Yeah. Okay. So I know you've talked to a lot of people before they start the search. Is there anything else that you want to make sure people know before we get into the nitty gritty of what it actually looks like?
Janet Weinreich-Keall: No, I don't think so, because I think I've got it all covered in my notes-
Haley Radke: All right, all right-
Janet Weinreich-Keall: I'm organized.
Haley Radke: I know you are. You have to be in a search like yours.
Janet Weinreich-Keall: And that's the whole thing. I feel like what I do in terms of a [00:12:00] profession, I'm already an organizer, but I also feel like when I was sitting down to put this out, on this talk with you today and to share with all the listeners, I'm like, oh my goodness. Like I can't leave that out. Oh. But then I can't leave that out. And it's just, I get very excited about this topic. So yeah-
Haley Radke: All right. Well, teach us. Teach us.
Janet Weinreich-Keall: Yes. So the biggest thing that I always say to people, I get phone calls from people and I also help people in their searches. I'm very selective on who I help for lots of different reasons. The biggest thing I always say to people is, have you assessed your life? And people go to me, what does that mean? And I actually really mean it. I'm like, but are you ready? Are you in the throes of a divorce? Is this some kind of emotional response? Do you have an infant? Did you just move or are you moving? Do you have a new job? Like all those big life moments, are you getting married in two months? But you just have to know who your people are. Like it's just not the right timing because again, you do not know what you're going to find. [00:13:00] For some people, I have seen what they have found to be very short and sweet, and it's very simple, and for the most part it's just neutral or harmonious. And at the same time, those people may have done a lot of psychological work on themselves with their therapists, but then I've seen other people where all of a sudden these secrets that lay dormant for 30 years come to the surface. And then how does that impact these new families? So there's just so much that comes with it. Not only that, but if you are the person that is searching, I find that then you are the person that does all the work. You are the person that is making the phone calls and archiving, or creating a family tree for the first time ever. There's just so much data coming at you. Make sure you are in the right time of your life that you can actually do it well. So then if you have decided that, yes, I am. I always say this, make sure that you get [00:14:00] therapy before you spit in the tube. I always say it, and I have to say to you, in my family and community, most do not do it at all. They actually say, no, I'm good. I'm strong. And then about three months later they have a full mental breakdown. So it's just, it's incredibly important to do that. Unfortunately, the top DNA companies don't actually encourage that. Again, with that one company I had talked to years ago, I did say that to them. I said, “Why do you not provide some type of psychological guidance or support? You know this is what people are finding. Anything from a how-to or recommended this or anything.” And their response to me was very simple, “We are not in that business.” And I thought, really? Is this candid camera? Who's looking? I honestly was so shocked, right? But again, I come off as this, oh, troubled adoptee that kind of knows it all or whatever, and I'm [00:15:00] thinking, no. You need necessary resources because this is what you are doing to people in society. But hey, I tell you this, if someone listens to this in five years, it might be very different. So-
Haley Radke: What? Corporations taking social responsibility?
Janet Weinreich-Keall: I know.
Haley Radke: Come on Janet. That seems outrageous.
Janet Weinreich-Keall: Darn it. Darn it. No. Silly me. So once you have done all that work, you've done your therapy, you've got a good therapist behind you as well, you know you're ready in life. The process of getting the kit is super simple. You go online, you pay with your credit card, you create a user account, you wait for it to arrive. Honestly, it's gross. You spit all up in the tube, it can be a little messy, and then you send it back in the mail. Now, depending on the company, they turn results around anywhere from probably three to five weeks. And then essentially you get an email that says, yeah, your results are ready. Now, one thing I also always suggest is if you are [00:16:00] serious about searching, I always say, cast your net wide. Don't just buy 23andMe. Don't just buy Ancestry. Buy the top three because just trust me. You'll regret it when you get your 23andMe and you're like, huh, I've got 300 sixth cousins. Fantastic. I'll get into that later too, but I'm telling you, there's not a whole lot you can do with that. So then what I find people doing is going, oh geez, I regret I've wasted all this time and now I'm gonna buy Ancestry and now I'm gonna buy Family Tree. I will say as time goes on the kits do get more and more affordable, but there are also other societies out there that give them away for free. I know that I have some biological family that got theirs for free because they're in the low income bracket. So there's lots of different options out there.
Now, in addition to finding family, there are DNA kits out there too that talk about health issues and give you health reports. [00:17:00] I kind of wanted to share a story. Now, me being a foundling, and again, I had searched for so long. It was in 2014, through some connections with work, I went ahead and I got my entire genome sequenced through a private firm. Now, to give you an idea how fast science has also moved forward, that test back in the day was about three thousand dollars. Today, I think they're about 500. Now, really, essentially, my biggest question, and I hate for this to sound so dark, was I'm looking at myself going, I'm probably never gonna find family. It just seemed so impossible at the time, and I'm in a family and I know nothing about my life. And Haley, I really wanted to know how will I die? I know that sounds… Okay, I know, but you have to understand and this isn't in an obsessive way at all. But I had already done so much work [00:18:00] really trying to understand where I came from and who I was. And I had been in therapy since I was 15 and here I am, looking at my children going, wait a minute, I feel so responsible. What if I have cancer markers or what if I have this or that? Is there something I can do today that can stop that? So interesting. I'll share with you two pieces that it came back with. So in one of the tests it showed a dopamine d2 receptor gene. And so essentially what it showed in my results is I was very unlikely to develop unhealthy eating or addictive behaviors. So that was one. And then another one, which I actually found really interesting is they tested a specific gene that was found in a 2010 study of Rwanden genocide survivors. So this gene type is rs4680. Essentially what it's [00:19:00] associated with is a person that can go through trauma, PTSD, see the most horrible things ever in the world, but almost quickly, and I don't want to say automatically, because that sounds a little psychotic, but can quickly come to a very quick resolve, can quickly come to a very fast kind of repair and overall balanced personality in the end. And the reason why they know that is they went back to this one village that saw the worst of the worst, and they all have this gene. I have the exact same gene. So then when I look at myself, my resiliency within my story, how I handled it, the way that I have made certain decisions to do therapy and to try to be a very healthy person, I just go, wow. Interesting. Now, I'll tell you, I “found out” how I will die. Do you wanna know? I know.
Haley Radke: Do you [00:20:00] wanna tell us?
Janet Weinreich-Keall: I'm open. I really am. Because again, I'm going to get into this. You don't just spit in a tube and think that nobody's gonna have access to your private data. Which by the way, I'm gonna argue isn't all that private. Okay, so I'm gonna go for it. So it showed me that I will likely die of late onset heart disease. Now, interesting, as I look at my maternal family, again, most of them who have died, for the most part, the last three generations in Canada, none of them live past 60 because of everything from alcoholism, smoking, stress, severe mental health issues. But then you look at my father's side, they're all very healthy, slim, trim, whatnot, late onset heart disease. So it was very interesting. And knowing my biological father, Emil, I told him that and he's but that's true. And I'm like, yes-
Haley Radke: That's interesting. And I know that for people who are like, I don't wanna know that [00:21:00] information, those are things you can choose to look at if you've added that on but you don't have to.
Janet Weinreich-Keall: I will say, when I did that specific test, I actually received genetic counseling, which I will argue again, companies like 23andMe that give those health reports, they do not do that. So in effect, the physician that actually, and it was a blood test, the one that I did in 2014, which was private versus the one with 23andMe, which was spit. But I had to go through two appointments because essentially what the doctor said to me is, look, we are going to give you information, and we do not all of a sudden want you to be like, oh my gosh, that's it. I'm changing my entire family's diet and I'm changing this and I'm quitting this job and I'm divorcing my husband, or whatever it could be because they see it as they're playing God. So they really had to go through it with me. And from what I understood [00:22:00] is they would not give that type of test to any person that has any kind of anxiety or say depression or knows that they're prone to it or struggles with any of that kind of stuff. Any kind of glimpse of a person who just can't handle that kind of information because they just don't wanna play God and ruin lives. So I passed the test. And I found out how I would likely die even before I found family. And I also don't recommend it for everybody but again, Haley, put yourself in my shoes. You're a foundling, you know absolutely nothing. And at that moment in 2014, I really, I just thought hey, this is probably how it's going to just be. Again, even though I was searching, right? But I just thought, what are the chances of finding answers?
So now getting on with the 23andMe stuff, I pulled out some sort of funny things. So 23andMe has a few different tasks that [00:23:00] people will see on their website. You can only do, for example, if you just wanna match with family, you can just pay for that. That is the cheapest kit out there. And then they've got a few different levels of the health and wellness reports that they do provide. So for myself, of course I've got that. So I looked at it today because they're always changing it. So again, this is the one thing I really have to stress to people is that everything's always being recalibrated. And I'll certainly speak on this with ethnicity as well. So I went on there this morning and I'm like, okay, what do they say about me? I'll also say, when you look under the fine print of all of these companies, there's a key word that they always put in there because they have to, and it's novelty. So it's fun. This is lighthearted. But then now, of course, if you just go on 23andMe, you certainly say that they are putting a fair bit of time and a fair bit of medicine, science really, [00:24:00] into their health reports. So they’re certainly amping it up. And I would also estimate that within a decade, maybe, yeah, it's true, you will probably get the same kind of test that I did, and you can go, wow, I'm gonna die of this, or wow of this. But again, it's one of these pieces where it's like, who's playing God here and who is really ready and able to live with that kind of information, right? So on mine, I went on there on the traits, and so it showed me this morning that I have a 77% chance that I've never had dandruff. Oh yeah. Oh yeah, Haley, we're getting really personal, and I will tell you that is true. I've never had that. Okay. Then it says, I have a 52% chance of having blue eyes. Now you know me, my eyes are blue. They are like glowing blue. So it's okay, yes, they got it. Yeah. Then it went on to say, I have a 39% of very fair skin. Yes, I am so [00:25:00] fair. You can see blue in my arms. I'm that fair.
Haley Radke: I probably have the same result for you there.
Janet Weinreich-Keall: Oh, I tell you. So that's true. And then actually one of the funniest ones that they have on there: I have a 67% chance of not having a unibrow. Woo. Woo.
Haley Radke: That's lucky.
Janet Weinreich-Keall: I know. Woohoo. Thanks mom and dad. Now I'll get into the stuff that's not so accurate. It says that I am likely to wake up at 7:58 AM. I do not know how they come to 7:58 AM. Why not 7:34? Why not 8:05? Haley, I am not a morning person. Okay. I am not likely to wake up at 7:58 AM. It also says that I am more than likely to experience motion sickness. No way. Put me on a rollercoaster. Get me in a car for 12 hours. I just love it. It's fantastic.
Haley Radke: Okay, huh?
Janet Weinreich-Keall: [00:26:00] Then it also tells me that I prefer salty food. No. I love my sweets. Actually, I have a bag of candy in front of me right now, so you have to go, okay, that's interesting and okay, that's not really right. They're just estimating. So now I'll get back to the family matchings. You've got your DNA sent in and then you wait. Some people get fairly good results right away, which I would have to say would be a first cousin, a second cousin. Third cousins aren't so great, but you can still work with that. That'll certainly require more work in the family tree. And so you will be related to hundreds of people and they will be fifth cousins, sixth cousins. So again, I logged in this morning to Ancestry and it showed me I have 288 4th-6th cousins on there. To be really blunt, I just wouldn't even touch those in a search. It's just far too much. So [00:27:00] to give you an idea, a sixth cousin, that's a person who shares my great, great, great, great, great grandparent with me. So to then build up a tree working that way up, it's just too arduous. Like you just really can't do it. Now, sure, fine, technically of course you can, but then you are relying on a lot of other people. You are relying on hoping that their records are correct and on it goes, right?
Haley Radke: So what's the magic if you have this one it's easy and-
Janet Weinreich-Keall: I would say the first cousin and the second cousin are really okay. Of course, can you get on there and be matched with a parent or a half sibling or a full sibling? Yes you can, but for the most part I find that doesn't really work that way. It's more in the cousin realm. At least that's what I've seen. And again, it says that too. The biggest piece that you want to look at is you want to look at the percentage of DNA [00:28:00] shared. And so I'll get into that as well. And what you need to do with that, with every passing year. Again, these companies are all about profit and further developing their product. So it's always getting easier and easier to use their site. I said to you earlier, a fifth grader could do it and I actually mean it. I really do. It really isn't that complicated. So another piece that I want to speak of as well is once you have your data done in Ancestry, 23andMe, and Family Tree, also upload it to a company called GEDMatch. Now GEDMatch is a US-based service company and they compare DNA data files all across the different testing companies. So you might have heard of them. They were part of solving the Golden State Killer case in California. So essentially that database was used by law enforcement [00:29:00] and they did solve a very serious case on GEDMatch. They have over about 1.4 million DNA profiles. I'm gonna get into my story a little bit just because it gives a very simple example of why people go on DNA sites and why others do. So for myself, I was on two years on one of those sites and I just waited. I had no good matches, like nothing. I was sitting in like the fourth to sixth realm and it's are you kidding me? And especially for a foundling too. Here I am, even if I wanted to try knocking on the door, hey, does anybody know about an abandoned baby? Guess what? People who have women like my mother or any woman that abandons her baby, they don't know. No one in their family knows. It is a secret they take to their grave, right? So I already had known that. So finally, I waited two years and I got a first cousin [00:30:00] maternal match. Haley, that was gold, okay? Now, the reason why she was on there is because she had a boyfriend at the time who was very close with his family, and he was just like, I can't believe you don't know your family. She was actually somewhat ambivalent. It's not that she didn't want to find family, but she was like, yeah, okay, sure. No big deal. So a very different personality from someone like me who again, had been looking, at that time, for 21 years and oh my gosh, I just can't believe it. Now, if she didn't take that test, I would've been matched with a second cousin on my dad's side around the spring of 2018. He took the test because he and his wife saw some special deal. I don't know if it was like a two for one. She wanted confirmation on her bio father. He was curious about health information, but he also wanted to know more information on his ethnicity in connection to the Faroe Islands. [00:31:00] Because on my dad's side, I'm Faroese-Danish and Norwegian. So for him it was health, it was ethnicity. Her, it was, hey, I wanna know more about my dad. For my first cousin it was, why not? And again, I hear all these stories all the time. Some people just do it because they're sitting on the couch and they're like, hey, that looks like fun. And they press all their information in and the DNA kit comes and they go, hey, why not? I don't know. But the main thing that you always have to remember is when you are matched with a person, it will show you on there, like first cousin, it always says estimated. And I cannot stress that enough. And this is really where I say to people, this is where you have to do your own work. What I see quite often and people are not wrong to do it because they look at a word, but they take out “estimated". I don't know why, maybe because they get so excited and they wanna belong to a family and oh yes, this is who you are. But people do get attached to [00:32:00] the estimated labels, as in yes, you had estimated first cousin, estimated sibling, and in the end that causes so much anxiety and distress because often actually it's wrong. So for example, again, this morning-
Haley Radke: Totally wrong.
Janet Weinreich-Keall: Totally wrong. Yeah. For example, in Ancestry I logged in this morning, it shows that a confirmed half sibling of mine is a first cousin, and I can go on for hours and hours on exactly how I know: the private DNA test, the family tree, the this and the that. I can do that, but it's wrong. However, on 23andMe, it shows we are in fact half siblings. So again, it's definitely, it's a wild west. It's buyer beware, 23andMe analyzes their data very differently than Ancestry. And also they're only leaning that against the data pools that they currently have. So I would actually estimate again, in five years, if I log into Ancestry, it wouldn't [00:33:00] show that my half sibling is a first cousin. It would show she's a half sibling. So again, buyer beware. Really look at the words they're saying. They're saying estimated.
Haley Radke: And just as you're describing these things, it's amazing to me that it could be literally any day, you can log in and there's a new person who's tested because they got it as a birthday gift or whatever, right? Those new matches could come anytime.
Janet Weinreich-Keall: Anytime. So that's the other piece. They've got a lot of different ways in how you want to be informed. Their systems are very intuitive and easy. You can click on there that you want to be private. You can click off and say, nope, this isn't my time right now in my life. You can click on there and say, I want to be emailed every single notification known to man. Wonderful. You can click on hey, I only wanna know when I get a match. You can click on, hey, I want no notifications. And again, I will log on when I'm ready and present and able. So there's so many ways that you [00:34:00] can receive the information. And again, I really say to people, if you do your work in advance, you know what you want out of this experience. So incredibly key. One of the pieces that people ask about a fair bit is, okay, great, so I've spent a hundred bucks here on Ancestry and I spent this money here, there, and whatever. Oh, and it's an estimated relationship. I really caution people and just say, okay, just take a step for a moment and say, do I need further relationship testing? So what I'm actually seeing in families is a little bit more of a savvy reaction to these estimated relationships, and they want more proof. Instantly, people are going into reunion with doubt where families are going, yeah, but you know now, sure, fine. That's for the families to discern the information and maybe the adoptee to say, hey, I have this paperwork too, or this or that. But for a family, [00:35:00] we really get into this issue because in foundling cases, there's no biological mothers that really admit what they do. I mean, are you kidding me? They're outed to their entire family, maybe even their current husband has no idea that they've done it. Everything in their family has shifted. They're not going to admit they've done it. Now what I have done myself personally, because again, I like my facts and I like my organization and I don't like estimated. So what I did even before I got my first cousin, wonderful match on 23andMe, is I had to confirm those relationships anyway because I found them through traditional media, through newspapers, through radio. And so I went through a private sibling-ship test that also does private paternity tests. And sure enough, those came back with absolute accuracy, without a doubt.
Haley Radke: So just to pause there, so the private [00:36:00] test, I'm sure there's lots of companies that do that too.
Janet Weinreich-Keall: Yes.
Haley Radke: That means they're not uploading it to a database and-
Janet Weinreich-Keall: They're not.
Haley Radke: It's private. Just for you guys. Yeah. Okay.
Janet Weinreich-Keall: Yeah. It's only between the parties who sign the documentation. They're also more money as well, so you have to really be sure that hey, at, say, $300 a pop for a sibling-ship test, and for $700 for a legal paternity test. It's hey, you really have your ducks in the row. And this is just to fully confirm, so I did this with my biological father. He's very much of the same mind. I am too. Although I will say that he did say, Janet, I know you're my daughter. And of course I'm like, yes, I know, but I need this. You have to realize I've lived my whole life without it. I don't know what to trust. I don't know who to trust. Sure enough, it came back 99.999% he's my biological father. Now again, with that, [00:37:00] I had to go into a nurse, like a sort of a physician's office. They checked my ID, they did the same with my dad, so that it is actually court admissible. Not that's what I was looking for, but people should educate themselves to know that, hey, is everybody around me? Are all the parties comfortable with an estimated relationship, or do we really have to go further and spend the money and get it officially done right and signed off. Now in regards to understanding your results, you're gonna get a whole breakdown of everybody and they always show who you're closest related to and all they're showing is a percentage of DNA shared. That's just how they analyze your relationships, right? Now, I will also say this in recommended resources, but there is one place that I go to. It is issog.org, and it [00:38:00] is a wealth of information on there. In fact, every time when I'm searching for others as well, they've got a great chart that breaks down all of the range of DNA shared within your family members. So it's super visual, super easy to understand. Really simple to decipher. All right. Is this person really a first cousin? It just gives you a better idea of where you're going with that specific person. From that point, it really is, hey, honestly, the minute you get a good match, you'll be jumping up and down at your kitchen table. You'll be shouting it outside your window. People will think, what in the world is wrong with this person? But it's just human nature, especially for anybody who has searched for a long time.
Haley Radke: Yeah,
Janet Weinreich-Keall: But this is what I always say to everybody. Pause. Just collect your thoughts. You do not have to respond right away. I always ask, what is [00:39:00] your game plan? Have you done your work? And I mean psychologically? Do you have a therapist? Do you really understand what you want out of this experience? And what are your expectations? And I believe that is so key to say because the minute you press send on a message, because you can message people within the 23andMe platform, and say with Ancestry and Family Tree, the minute you press send, you could get a response in minutes or it could take months. You've gotta be prepared,
Haley Radke: Right? Because you said you can set up all your notifications, so if someone else has set it so-
Janet Weinreich-Keall: Yeah-
Haley Radke: Don't send me anything. It might be six months before they're like, oh, I wonder if I have any new matches.
Janet Weinreich-Keall: And that's the other thing is there's a lot of people on there who aren't checking all the time. One of the things I always recommend to everybody, and again, I do not believe this is being untoward or real sleuthy or slimy, but here's the thing, [00:40:00] if that person has their name as their username, take that name, screenshot it. Screenshot everything you can find. Some people have their family trees open. Screenshot them, then research them to the nth degree. Screenshot their Facebook friends, screenshot just anything you can find on them. Online obituaries are also really great to get information. Before I actually contacted my biological father, I already had a full family tree done. It really is so simple. The amount of data that people share in today's world is astonishing. And I say you do all of that work before you send the message, because unfortunately, not everybody who's on the site is searching or wants to be found. Some people are on there because, hey, I just wanna know what my ethnicity is. Or, hey, I've always wondered if [00:41:00] I can grow a unibrow. I don't know Haley. It's just like whatever people go on there for, it's not necessarily for the reasons that we are.
Haley Radke: Yes.
Janet Weinreich-Keall: And what I have found unfortunately is that the older generations will get spooked, scared off, and they will then set their profile to private and you can never contact them again. So it's really important to go, okay, I've got the name. Screenshot, screenshot. Just anything you can find, save it, and then back up your savings. Like really be vigilant and organized. So then if all of a sudden you go in the next day and you go, oh, that person's gone. You know what you do? You find somebody in the younger generation. You message them through Facebook. You have a lot of different ways of contacting people. Don't just sit in the land of DNA. You do not have to find people just through that portal. If their name is put out there, you can find people. I guarantee you.
Haley Radke: Wow. I [00:42:00] think that's really good advice. Really good. I wonder how many people have had the match, sent a message, and then lost that information?
Janet Weinreich-Keall: So much. Absolutely. Incredibly. Yeah it's just so much. But again, I hate to say it, if you are not organized, if you don't have a system, but again, think of why people don't have a system, Haley, and I really believe this. It's because they haven't done the pre-work. They haven't done the work that they needed to do. For myself as a foundling, I put myself into therapy at 15. I understood implicitly how it impacted me and changed me as a human being, and essentially I did not want to grow up and to not have a good life and have that hinder me. I can tell you the amount of foundlings, or rather the majority of foundlings, they are in addiction, poverty, three, four [00:43:00] marriages, bankruptcy, no career. It just goes on and on. They're recreating almost what happened to them. Children up the yin yang, even, almost abandoning their own children with poor relationships. And they're not going to be organized in a DNA search if you bring so much emotion that's just oozing, it's just oozing.
Haley Radke: It's almost like what I'm hearing you say is we have to mentally prepare and make sure we're ready before we start searching. But then when you're searching, you're like, okay, now I'm putting my Sherlock Holmes hat on. I'm not Haley the adoptee looking for answers. I'm Sherlock and everything you are going to do is detective work. We're not bringing emotion into it, whatever. And then when you're like, okay, I have my answer, and now I take it off and then I can process the feelings and things. It's almost like two separate streams.
Janet Weinreich-Keall: So in fact, I actually learned that quite early on in my search. [00:44:00] In the early days of my search, I was very emotional. Again, I was young. I started at 18. By the time I was about 25, I was like, yep, I get it. She doesn't wanna be found. Yep, I get it. I started understanding the harsher realities. Then as I started building my career in business, one day it came to me and I'm like, okay, Janet, this is a project. Yes, I can always be very in tune to my emotions, my needs, who I am, my triggers, what I know needs to be healed, on it goes. But when I'm searching, I'm going to have files and a computer system and even a server to back up my files and paper files for each person. So I really separated the two. I did. And honestly, that is actually how in the end, which I will also argue, if you don't do it in that manner and have it really rigid and organized, in the end, [00:45:00] you yourself won't have the truth. And what I mean by that is you're gonna be on the phone call with an aunt here, an uncle there, an ex-husband here or there, whatever. They all have a story, right? But then your job as almost-detective is interesting. I've heard the exact same story three times, said three different ways. You almost have to say that one is true, right? And you go, okay, that one's almost validated. Then you go, okay, I have facts here. I have some files, I have paperwork. That is true. Maybe you wanna throw in a margin of error, I don't know, for whatever reason. But then of course, then you've got the other stuff, which I would consider, again, a lot of adoptees I found in families, they come from families that are not well. They are not healed. There's a pattern of relinquishment and trauma. So then you get into this whole gossip, and maybe even in my case, there was a lot of backstabbing [00:46:00] and slander and really vicious behavior because these people were not healed. You have to go, that's not true. That's not true. So that's the other piece too. Even outside of DNA work, but the problem with the DNA work is when you get a match, it's like instant. And it's here you go, load up and giddy up. You are going. You have to be ready. And so many people are not ready.
Haley Radke: Okay with all the caveats and we're ready, and we've, okay, now maybe we take our Sherlock Holmes hat off. So you get the match, you've got all the screenshots and you've gone all the way for screenshots, Facebook, obituaries, whatever, all the way. Then you send a message. But what do you send in a message?
Janet Weinreich-Keall: Honestly, I always say to people, you've got to think about you are using a product that is being marketed like happy, happy, joy, joy. Everything's just wonderful and sunshine and rainbows, right? So I always [00:47:00] say to people, look, you don't know who you're messaging because any person can spit in a tube and put any name to it, Haley. Think about that for a minute.
Haley Radke: Ohhhh.
Janet Weinreich-Keall: And I've actually uncovered, not for myself, but other people that I have helped find family, children having their parents' DNA on there, because maybe they're older or they don't know how to use a computer, but they put their name as a child, or this account is used for my great aunt and she's actually now passed away. So there are just so many variables. It's not done like a legal paternity test where IDs are checked and everything's done in a row. So what I always say to people is keep it light. I always write something like, hi, isn't it so neat that we are related and we are estimated first cousins? Isn't that so neat? Hey, I'd love to talk with you sometime. [00:48:00] Instantly I want to take it offline. Offline. I want a phone call. Because verbal gives so many cues to people. That's just how we are as humans. We're listening to this today and it evokes so much, doesn't it? Instantly I like to get the people offline. I hope that I can hook 'em and say, wow, that's so great. Isn't it wonderful that we're related? Keep it very positive. Hey, let's talk on the phone. I'm available anytime. Let me know, blah, blah, blah. That type of thing.
Haley Radke: Okay. And you're so right about the verbal being different, the tone.
Janet Weinreich-Keall: It is, and I also feel, and some people might not agree with me, but that's how we are in this world. We can have different opinions. I think that you don't say you're adopted. I think that you don't say you're a foundling, depending on the generation. It can scare people off. So I say that no, you just [00:49:00] keep it light and airy. You don't know what they've been through. You don't know what they're hiding. You don't know anything. You are pure strangers sharing DNA. Wonderful. And I always say, get off as quick as you can. Have a verbal. Then the minute you're on the phone with them, hopefully they respond. For the most part, I find people do. Sometimes it might take a while. That's why I say sometimes. People then go now I've got their name. I'll just go on Facebook and message them. Or, ooh, I'll try somebody else who's related to them. So there's a lot of different ways of contacting people. And then from there, I do say that you are adopted. Now, for the founding community, I don't personally believe you say you're a foundling in the first call. Abandoning a child is a serious offense. In Canada, it's a criminal offense. It scares people off. It's not to hide and be coercive, but you just have to play the temperament. You don't know these people, so don't [00:50:00] start telling everybody everything in the first call. You might scare someone off. So then essentially from there, just good old, fashion detective work. It's pulling out family trees. It's pulling out that one, I'll say again in the recommended resource of the chart, showing the shared DNA and just getting, hey, who's your mother and who's your sister and who's this person? And all about pen and paper. I think you get a huge monster piece of paper and you just start making your family tree as you talk.
Haley Radke: And that's it. Like basically you've solved the mystery and we'll put a pin in that because we've had so many shows on Reunion and all the other things that come with it. But you make it sound so simplified and it's amazing what DNA has really unlocked for us.
Janet Weinreich-Keall: And that's my biggest concern, Haley. It's just like our instant gratification kind of culture that we have. When it comes to [00:51:00] this subject it's just not that healthy. That is why I always say you have to do your work in advance. You just have to. I want to speak a little bit about ethnicity and I'll do it pretty fast. I just want to tell people it's an estimate, right? So in all the DNA kits, they all have the same type of estimated ethnicity. Now they're always changing though. So what I always say to people is you're so excited. Suddenly, you're 40% Norwegian. When you say that you should say something like this, as of today, as it shows on this platform, I am blah, blah, blah. Because I guarantee you, a year later it'll be completely recalibrated. I want to share with you my journey to figure out who I was, whatever you want to call that. So in the very, very early days, I was probably one of the first pioneers of trying one of these kits in 2005. [00:52:00] That feels like forever ago, and I think it was like $500 at the time. But again, Haley, I was so hungry to know where am I from? Who am I? It was a pretty basic result. I will say that this company who did it was later purchased by Family Tree DNA, right? Because of course they have all the machines and stuff. So in 2005 it said that I was 89% European. I was 8% Native American, 2% East Asian, and 1% Sub-Saharan African. Okay. Guess what all the three tell me today? 23andMe today tells me I am 46.9% Scandinavian. Ancestry says I'm 84% Scandinavian, and Family Tree says I'm 66% Scandinavian.
Haley Radke: Whoa.
Janet Weinreich-Keall: So that's a range of 46.9 [00:53:00] to 84%.
Haley Radke: Yeah.
Janet Weinreich-Keall: Okay. Then 23andMe tells me I am 26.9% British Irish. There's a lot of different ways they just categorize the zones. But that's just the way I'll simplify it for today, Ancestry says I'm 13% British Irish and Family Tree DNA says I'm 3% British Irish. So you're going from 26.9% to 3%. Then for West Central Europe, Ancestry says I am 0%. On 23andMe I am 8.5%, but on Family Tree DNA, I'm 29%. Now, I'll tell you just my last one because this is quite interesting. 23andMe and Ancestry show markers for Ashkenazi Jew. So 23andMe shows I'm 1.9% and Ancestry [00:54:00] says I'm 3%. Family Tree DNA doesn't even do it. So again, what I'm trying to show you is every company is just siloed. They have their own data pools that they draw from, and that just gives you your estimated ethnicity. Now, of course for me, I've done my work and I can say to you that none of them are actually really all that accurate. But the Ashkenazi Jew is, that's pretty accurate. So I don't know. I don't know, girl. So again, it's a novelty. You take it with a little bit of a grain of salt. And it gives you a general feel.
Haley Radke: Yeah. And going back so you were saying just that the companies are siloed, so they're not talking to each other about the ethnicity estimates or likely the medical things. But when you can take your DNA and put it to GEDMatch, GEDMatch would just be the Family Tree side of things, right?
Janet Weinreich-Keall: Yeah, it is.
Haley Radke: Yeah. Okay. Huh.
Janet Weinreich-Keall: And now one of the other biggest [00:55:00] pieces that I always say to people, and it's funny because for whatever reason people don't like to hear this, and trust me, Haley, I'm not trying to get into like conspiracy theory. This is not my type of thing.
Haley Radke: Okay, wait. Just so you know, there is a reason I haven't spit in a tube. Okay. Okay. There's a reason. So tell us, why are people nervous about it?
Janet Weinreich-Keall: The thing that I always say to people is all these companies boast that once your data is on their system, it's private. I am going to say no. The minute you spit in that tube, you just have to succumb to the fact that private data is public data. And the reason why I say that is for a few big reasons. These private companies are not moderated by any government body. And even if they were Haley, what are we looking at? We're looking at technology and human beings. Look at our world, look at the [00:56:00] headlines. There's constant hacks. There's constant mistakes. These companies are continually recalibrating and making their product better. That's actually really fantastic. But what happens when they do that? What happens when they relaunch their new websites and then they move their data over to that server and to this server? So what I always say to people is look, you have to know when you are spitting in a tube, it can be used for anything, right? It's almost to say, if you have something to hide, then don't then don't do it, because now I will also tell you serious crimes are being solved because of people like me on these systems. I will tell you that every company, major company, they've got all their terms and conditions and they've got all of that type of stuff. Oh, blah blah, blah, whatever. But I will tell you, I'm [00:57:00] just looking here right now because I actually took out a little paragraph, essentially what 23andMe, and I'm not trying to out 23andMe, all the companies have to abide. But essentially what they say is, oh no, we will never release your information. But however, the minute they get a court order, think about it, a police officer here or there or whatever goes, hey, wait a minute. We gotta throw this in the kitty and see what happens. Then yes, it is true. These companies have to abide by the court orders-
Haley Radke: Right.
Janet Weinreich-Keall: So they don't give it freely, but they have to abide by law.
Haley Radke: And when you mentioned the Golden State Killer earlier and when you said, they're using my information to solve these crimes, it's true because not that you yourself committed a crime, but you're the link in the chain to go backwards and find that tree or find the person via the family tree.
Janet Weinreich-Keall: But that's exactly it. And in fact, in 2019, [00:58:00] Family Tree DNA has reported, because this is the other thing, you can find this online. All of these three major companies have to be transparent on who is requesting user information. And Family Tree DNA reported that 50 law enforcement agencies submitted DNA samples for matching. And that almost 150 cases had been submitted by Spring 2020. So by, in effect, Family Tree DNA helped solve 27 violent cases in the USA and we're talking serial killers and violent crimes.
Haley Radke: And law enforcement are the ones uploading the DNA sample. Wow, okay. Okay. I didn't know they could do that. See, that's-
Janet Weinreich-Keall: Uh-huh.
Haley Radke: Very interesting.
Janet Weinreich-Keall: But again, that's the whole thing. People go on there and these companies are selling a product. Oh [00:59:00] no, we'll never do this. We'll never do that. But actually if you dig on there, even 23andMe has a full page called Transparency Report and they update that on a quarterly basis. They're very transparent to say, hey, actually yes, it is true. Now I actually read it today. Fascinating. They break it down by country and who is requesting this information? Only today the USA has requested information. This is a thing, my DNA is on that system. So if a half sibling of mine committed a serious offense and in five years Canada starts leaning on DNA, they're going to contact me. So now do I comply? Do I ignore? They'll find me. So you just have to be comfortable knowing that, hey, I'm in the system. I have to be part of the greater good. Whatever's gonna come out is gonna come out. And don't get too swept up in the, [01:00:00] oh, we protect this, we protect that because at the end of the day, these companies can only do so much. And you throw in technology and you throw in human beings, mistakes happen all the time. We're human, right? Just saying.
Haley Radke: Yeah. And we know a few fellow adoptees who have found their first families via mistakes, requesting their records and names aren't redacted or that “should be”. Yes, it's true. They happen just on paper and also technology. When you're talking about how many millions of records these people are keeping, the chance for error is much higher.
Janet Weinreich-Keall: Yeah. Yeah. No, I know.
Haley Radke: Any last thoughts that you really wanna give us? I really appreciate the cautions you've given so far, and anything else that we really need to keep in mind when we're thinking of doing DNA testing?
Janet Weinreich-Keall: Yeah, I've just got a few notes as like my 2 cents. I would have to say the biggest piece [01:01:00] is that searching through DNA is far more psychologically taxing than it's made out to be. The biggest reason is because these companies are selling a product and it's happy and it's wonderful, and everybody is healthy and hugging. That does have implications because it gives a sense of how easy it is and how easy it should always be, and I've seen this continually in reunion. Reunions are tricky on their own. I don't know about you, Haley, but I almost guess that reunions are maybe 50-50, but when you take it to a foundling group, reunion on the maternal side of the family, it's almost zero every time. So again, don't confuse the ease of information coming at you with the ease of what you are going through as a human being. It's incredibly difficult to go through a reunion and you have to get psychological support and take care of yourself. One of the biggest things [01:02:00] is that you have to understand your intentions, and you have to understand your expectations. For myself, in my reunion, I always said that to every person I met. I told everybody my intention upfront, and I told everybody my expectation, which by the way, was just very low. It wasn't very heavy. It was very gentle and casual. I can tell you, Haley, not one person could tell me the same thing back because nobody had done their work. Nobody had done their work.
The other biggest thing that I want to talk about is privacy. So we get on this site and there's just this instant feeling that, hey, all this information that I've come into, I can do anything with it. For example, in the foundling community, or again in the adoption community, where babies are kept secret. I am not a supporter of keeping secrets. Look at my story, Haley. But I am a [01:03:00] supporter of human decency and respect, and I have never to this day released my biological mother's name. Now, I will tell you, this is where it gets tricky when you start finding biological family. And again, it's so easy. It's through a portal, through DNA, there is this common mindset that, oh, I own this information too. I own this information too. So what I did very early on is I had talked to every single person in my family to stress the importance of why my biological mother's name should remain a secret. For so many reasons I can go into, she had a very hard life. She actually passed as the result of me searching. You can piece that together however you want. Not only that, but she had no relationship with any of her family members. But again, these people go, oh, this story is so public. And oh, Janet's this sort of half kind of [01:04:00] Rupert famous person. Oh no, I'm just gonna say it. I'm gonna give her name out there. Who cares what Janet wants? So I have to tell you, it was incredibly traumatic for me. Later on, as a result of that, I ended those relationships and then a major campaign was put against me. Slanderous lies attacking only because I wanted her name kept private. I only say that so much, Haley, because I want to say to the listeners, you have to ask yourself, who owns this information? Again, I am not saying that it should be kept a secret, but I think there is a beautiful fine line of having respect, having comfort levels of everybody being met, and still having your needs met. You don't have to plaster it out because, oh, look at this, what I found on 23andMe and throw it all over [01:05:00] Facebook. You don't have to do that. But again, I have seen it so much because the information is so available and any person can go on their 23andMe and go, hey, look at this. Look at this. This is true. Who has a say? Who owns the privacy? So that's something that's very near and dear to my heart. It's been incredibly traumatic. Incredibly. Yeah.
Haley Radke: Thank you for sharing that. That it's a caution, it's a warning. I'll skip ahead and I always give a recommended resource and I felt immense pressure to do that again today on the theme. But, what has really come out from our conversation, and I didn't expect myself to say this, but you really wanna be in charge of your own search. I think it's-
Janet Weinreich-Keall: Yes, absolutely.
Haley Radke: When you're talking about who's getting to share the information and those kinds of private things, [01:06:00] I just recently heard someone share their story and I'll keep it private, except for that they were using a search angel. And the search angel is the one that was getting in touch and being the first one to open up some of those conversations and shared some information that they didn't have a right to, and so from what I've heard, I feel like it's really empowering for you to do your own search.
Janet Weinreich-Keall: Yes, it is. And I've seen that as well. In fact, a half sibling of mine had somebody help her find her biological father and to be really blunt, that search “angel” was a bully and she actually had it completely wrong. In fact, the man she was accusing to be the father, and I would almost say terrorized his family for a good week with this knowledge, was actually the uncle. So again, it just [01:07:00] shows you that you really do want to be in charge of your own search. And not only that, but even from my own perspective, as soon as I saw that people on my maternal side were not trustworthy, I started holding back almost everything. But I could, because I was the one receiving the files. I was the one putting the data together. So I said, nope, that's not for them to know. So it is really difficult because then you also get into, say even legalities of a minor. There are many foundling stories where the biological was a minor. But the newspapers have no problem publicizing that. That's actually against the law. So but again, like I said, my concern with DNA and everything I want to talk about DNA is this overshadowing feel of how easy it is, so then because it's so easy, it's almost as though everyone's entitled to it. [01:08:00] Everyone's involved, everyone can talk about it, and that's just simply not the case. So you really have to know what you're doing. You really have to do your own pre-work in advance, and yeah, you've really got to have a strong, organized head to yourself without a doubt. And like I've been saying all along, understand it's a product. You are buying a product a company is profiting from. So buyer beware.
Haley Radke: Thank you for the cautions and I also thank you for letting people feel empowered, like they can be in charge of their own search and the timing of the things. And once you've done your work ahead of time I really appreciate those. So one more thing I want to recommend is that you do go back and listen to Janet's story. It's episode 87 and 88 and Janet [01:09:00] shares her story. And then we have a really special episode where we talk to her biological father and her adoptive father about their relationship. And it was the season finale of our relationship series, season four. And it's really special. But, okay, now I want you to share what your recommended resources are for us, and I'm assuming they're on theme.
Janet Weinreich-Keall: Oh, they are on theme. Haley. I am organized, so when I searched and when I help people search as well, there is a website by the International Society of Genetic Genealogy, and you can find that at www.isogg.org. It is a wealth of information and again, like I said, it is really easy to understand your DNA as soon as you get on the portal. This here gives some [01:10:00] really great charts, really great how-to, it's very simple to understand. The other recommended resource is all the YouTube channels for Ancestry, Family Tree DNA, and 23andMe. They've got some really great how-to videos and they're in really small sort of tidbits of two or three minutes, and they're just really invaluable when you first start your DNA journey.
Haley Radke: They want you to be able to figure out their systems and now they obviously have a billion dollar in resources, so-
Janet Weinreich-Keall: Oh boy, do they ever. That's the whole truth though. I would have to say in the earlier years it was a little bit more convoluted and a bit more confusing. Today it is just so simple to use it, and that's why I say you don't need a search angel. You just don't-
Haley Radke: Take your own power in your own search, in your own hands. Okay.
Janet Weinreich-Keall: Absolutely.
Haley Radke: [01:11:00] Gosh, I am so grateful for your wisdom. I feel like I've learned a lot about things I had no idea about. So thank you Janet. And where can we find you online and follow your story as you continue to search? And I know you are working on lots of things.
Janet Weinreich-Keall: Yes, definitely. Yeah, so you can just find me under my name, Janet Weinreich-Keall. I know that's a real big name, but I earned it. And I'm on Facebook, Instagram, I also have a website that also refers me there as well. And I'm just continually sharing my story. Just like you Haley. I really want to highlight the honesty and the real authentic adoptee journey. So that's what I do. I know I'm a foundling, but again, I think I share all the same things as an adoptee as well, so yes-
Haley Radke: Absolutely. Thank you so much.[01:12:00]
Can you believe she just gave us a masterclass in DNA searching? Amazing. So generous. I'm so thankful for Janet. I want to tell you about something really fun. I just launched the Adoptees On merch store and I am seeing everyone get their orders in, their mugs and t-shirts and journals. I've seen people order stickers and pens, like there's a ton of different things. You can get masks even. So there's the traditional Adoptees On logo and then we have an autumn one and a winter one out right now, and so you can get that on basically anything. I love seeing your beautiful faces with your Adoptees On merch. It's amazing and it's just like this physical manifestation of the community kind of building and building and building. I don't know, something about it is just really special to [01:13:00] me. I know I talked about this last week with Carrie, but it's been one of my absolute favorite things so far in 2020, seeing you guys with the stuff with the logo on it, which is just so cool. I wish I had done it sooner. That's my one regret. I wish I had done it sooner. So if you want to grab some Adoptees On merch, it's adopteeson.com/shop and you are taken over to a Tee Public store and they make everything as you order it and they send it off to you. I'm so pleased with how everything is looking when you guys are getting your shirts and everything, and Tee Public makes it really easy for you to find the right fit and the right swag for you.
I'm thankful too for my patrons. So many of you signed up during the month of November. I had a sale on, and it's amazing to see how the community is building around the show and helping to keep it sustainable for me to be able to do this full-time for you, and I'm really grateful. [01:14:00] So thank you. If you wanna join us, it's not too late. You can go to adopteeson.com/partner and find the details of how to join Patreon, all the different benefits. There is a weekly podcast, Adoptees Off Script, with me, and most of the time, Carrie Cahill Mulligan. There is a Facebook group. There is an opportunity to have a call with me, and yeah, I'm so thankful for everyone who has signed up for that. Thank you. Adopteeson.com/partner if you wanna join Patreon or adopteeson.com/shop if you want to support the show by buying some merch. Thank you so much for listening. Let's talk again next Friday.
